28th of March 2018 Barcelona.
Sat on a train in Barcelona heading out of
the city towards a different town.
I´m sat with my back to the direction I´m
heading. Looking out the window aimlessly at all the view I have just passed
though and watch it fade away into the distance. I´m listening to music in my
headphones, My Brightest Diamond.
I look in horror at the size of the city
and the dimension of what I see as a human disaster. Factories, trucks,
concrete, waste, etc… I then remember my Walking in Different Ways of Seeing
and decide to do this exercise and feel the space beyond judgement, if
possible.
I get into a loop feeling looking out o the
window at the rapidly disappearing views of mass changing shapes.
I find some beauty in this or that image,
though what initially looked ugly before I did this exercise. I even was
inclined to reach out for my camera and try to capture it and I told myself to
just retain it in my memory and then write, to keep concentrating on my
discipline. I tell myself I can always take the pics on my way back and now
just let myself have the experience. I´m happy with that deal with myself so I
can just be there for the rest of the trip.
I feel the importance of light in this
trip, showing shapes that rapidly change shape and size.
On my way back on this same train I sit on
the same side but this time I sit looking towards the direction we are heading.
In a way I sat in the same seat, so to say,
This time I had no intention in keeping to
the discipline. I just wanted to “catch” the spaces I had experienced on the
way there so I could keep a real image of them apart from my memory turned into
words (that many times is not too accurate).
I was finding this simple task so
difficult. I had the camera in hand, ready, I saw the same spaces and they no
longer looked the same. I was wondering what was going on.
I
then realised that depending on the attention power and state of mind spaces
can be perceived in totally different ways.
I also had another understanding. As when
travelling looking towards the direction which I´m heading, the future time is
whizzing past and I get no time to digest or feel what I´m experiencing.
When I sat looking towards what I have just
passed, the past, I´m able to fir everything into context much better. I feel I
can get a better grip on myself and where I am. The past helps understand the
present, it helps build the picture. The velocity is slower. Or that is what it
seems.
This understanding though an observation of
physics made me think one thought further. I felt that truly physics and the
relationship between the elements that surround us is my true teacher. I have
always felt very spiritual and grateful to a higher force or mystery I don´t
understand and that fascinates me, nature. I was now confirmed this once more.
When someone asks me where do I get my inspiration for my art. I get it from
the observation of the world that surrounds me. I prefer nature but when that
is not possible, I get it from any surrounding. Many messages are hidden
waiting to be discovered and spoken to.
An other of the experiences I remember
feeling while doing the exercise on my way there was when I looked at the rail
tracks.
At one point I was looking down at the
tracks from the line that would go in the other direction, and as it got closer
to the city many more appeared, and as I kep my attention on the one closest to
me I could also see the next two and the further they are the slower they move.
Each track moved at a different velocity, and kept the shame shape of
perspective. All this information created a film I watched for a while till
suddenly it tuned black. With this black I got a mirror, got a view of where I
was. White shades on a black shiny surface.
Suddenly, again, the track reappear and
show the same film. Then finally, again, the black mirror returns.
Somehow a story was told. A story is the
relationship between different elements that reflect back what I´m able to
understand. New understanding can possibly be attained while not searching for
precisely that. The new info is stored in the subconscious, preparing the
conscious mind for the assimilation of it. It then feels like we have just
discovered it, but subconsciously it was already there. I think. It´s an
intuition.
