25th of June 2017. Vienna.
This time, here, I see it all looking dirty, scruffy and uncomfortably hot.
I don´t find the freshness I used to feel.
I know it all, and walk through the streets without really looking. I´m just going places, blindly.
Stop
What is this numbness? Where am I really while walking?
I guess I´m thinking about this or that very vane or very important thing. Isn´t that how usually is? Isn´t this why we get addicted to travelling to new places? To feel the freshness we loose though believing we know what surrounds us.
Cynical.
I realise then, how important I find this issue.
Just look at children.
Just remember how it was to be a child, when it was all new and ready to discover.
That doesn´t need to finish once we´re adults.
I have always worked on this. It might even be the most important issue in life for me.
That is why I paint.
I have found a space I can still feel I´m discovering, not only in shape and forms that are created, but in the discipline of reducing judgement, letting the unknown arise and being surprised by it. Painting brings me into this space.
listening to "Deep blue day" Brian Eno
Back to Vienna, while walking the streets that this time look different. I realise I now know the city quite well and got into the habit of walking to places, rather than through places. I wasn´t looking, observing or taking in anything new. I felt it was my responsibility to change this if I wanted to continue feeling the fascination I always enjoy of having the streets surprise me with new impressions.
I decided initially to walk as if I didn´t know the streets.
Walk with no direction or have anything specific to do.
Just observe while walking.
Let the details speak to me and tell me where to go.
Try to not control the space. Just observe as much as possible.
Go into the details and smaller dimensions.
Go large into the bigger dimensions and see things as if I was a giant.
Alter the elements to other values and perceive.
Set aside understanding of uses and see the items freshly and perceive.
So many ways of seeing that change meanings and perception.
Diffused vision to take away perspective and details.
